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Description
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(revised)
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Seller
assumes all responsibility for listing
this item.
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This is an utterly horrible dead C90. I acquired
it because I thought the engine might fit in a
Honda Dax 70 I was restoring. I then found that
this year of C90 engine won't fit. Oh well.
Picture at:
http://www.chateau.murray.dsl.pipex.com/C90.jpg
http://www.cafeshops.com/bikepusher
It's been in a leaky shed for at least a decade.
It's quite disgusting. It's red, fading to pink on
some plastic parts, and with a fine patina of
matching ferrous oxide. It's complete, except for
the exhaust which was so decayed it fell off when I
was moving it. The legshields are cracked. No
documents and no keys. The engine has compression
and turns over, but the speedo mileage of 46,000
suggests that it was used by a Knowledge Boy with
severe learning difficulties.
Speaking of which, this is a re-listing because
the winning bidder last time was a decerebrate
turnip who was able to click on buttons and hit the
numbers keys, but unable to read web pages, and
didn't realise that he was 200 miles away. "I dint
no (sic) where you lived" read his email. Well
done, astragsi999: in addition to having the
saddest username on Ebay, you've now got a feedback
rating of minus one and a Non-Paying Bidder stripe
against your record. Welcome to our Quadrant of the
Galaxy. Beep. Yes, we play rough on Planet Earth
sometimes. The next-placed bidder swore blind he
wanted it, but he turned out to live 120 miles away
and he's been giving me the run-around as well.
Irritated? Me? Just a tad, yes. For the benefit of
anyone else who has the navigational skills of a
pigeon with a magnet strapped to its forehead, this
bike is in Sutton, south-west London. For the
Yanks, that's London, England, near Russia. Not
London, New Jersey, nor New London,
Connecticut.
What's it worth? Spare parts only, or maybe the
basis for a field bike. It really isn't worth
restoring as a road bike. Besides the engine,
things like side panels, electrical components,
forks, mirrors, levers, lights, switches, side
panels, etc etc are all worth having. It even has a
rack, roughly finished in Dulux White, which
suggests that our trainee cab driver did a spot of
painting and decorating on the side.
Starting price is 99p and no reserve. You will
need a van or a trailer or the stamina to push it a
long way. I can deliver within a reasonable
distance for 50p/mile but unless you're only a few
miles away (are you reading this, timewasters?)
it'll probably be rather more than the bike is
worth.
I'll want it taken away within one week of
auction end. Timewasters and/or people who tell me
they can't pick it up for a month, or haven't got
transport at the moment, will find that Planet
Earth's Alien Feedback Division can be a hostile
place. Beep.
On
11-Nov-03 at 16:20:32 GMT, seller added the
following information:
Look, what is it with some people? Why is it,
when you put up a bike that's in a state, and tell
everyone it's crap, and start the bidding at 99p,
ferChrissakes, do you get emails like this one:
"I could offer £60 if you would consider
delivery. The reason is that I am going on holiday
from Friday the 14th of November so will be around
home tomorrow Wednesday and Thursday the 12th and
13th. Hence I will not be able to bid or
collect the bike while I am away. Currently I ride
a ZZR1100 and am looking for very cheap local
transport in the winter months. Condition not
really important to me."
If you can't take delivery, or you aren't local,
don't bid and don't waste my time with emails. And
can't you read? This bike is like Monty Python's
parrot. It wouldn't voom if you put 40,000 volts
through it. The engine may be OK - I've no idea -
but the rest of it is a pile of poo.
And this is an auction, right? I've no intention
of pissing off genuine buyers on my stuff by
yanking my goods because someone as dim as candle
in a Guinness bottle thinks he can change my mind
by promising cash. I've heard that one before. In
fact, I've heard it on this very C90.
For the record: winning bidder gets it, and then
drags it away pronto before the neighbours claim
it's reducing local property values..
On
11-Nov-03 at 20:58:25 GMT, seller added the
following information:
Markclock, you are mad. I trust you're genuine,
but the fact that (at the time of writing this)
you've bid £26 quid for this suggests that you
only have twice the brains of astragsi999, who bid
£51 before the smear left by his finger on the
screen stopped at the point: Location, Sutton,
United Kingdom/London. And as astragsi999 has a
certifiable IQ in single figures, this is not a
good sign. If you win this, and then let me down, I
shall send the SAS to put itching powder in your
underpants drawer.
Same goes for other comedians, except that my
vengeance will be worse as the bids increase.
They're already 25 quid more than this thing is
worth.
On
13-Nov-03 at 21:53:37 GMT, seller added the
following information:
Wonderful. So the Feckwit Quotient is
increasing. I have a theory that the cheaper and
crappier an auction item, the greater number of
imbeciles it attracts. The current high bidder has
just emailed me to say he made a mistake in his
bidding.
Jesus. All you have to do is read Ebay's
instructions, click on a button, and type in a
figure. There are people out there who, on this
basis, can't even use a microwave oven without a
quantifiable risk of burning their hands off at the
wrist.
And from the sound of his username, he's 250
miles away, but hey!? Maybe he was conceived on a
wet and wind-blasted island off North Wales?
Anglesey0, I'm cancelling your bid unless, as
politely requested, you get back to me with full
name, address, contact numbers and an assurance
that you're not as dim as your illiterate email
suggests.
In fact, I've just checked the bid history. I
should have done that earlier. Lookathat! Four
bidders, and three of them zero feedback. The bad
news for you, Markclock, is that if I bar the
current geezer, this bike is going to be your
problem.
On
14-Nov-03 at 12:33:37 GMT, seller added the
following information:
And from the darkness of a cold, hard solar
system the anti-Feckwit Division of the
Intergalactic Ebay Council sent a lone
battlecruiser to nuke anglesey0's bids, because
although he did indeed get back to me, he did not
furnish any of the information requested, and
showed a painful ignorance of the way Ebay's
bidding system works. Sorry, an'all that,
anglesey0, but I suggest you RTFM.
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